I’ve been paying for XM…for FOREVER! Seriously, it’s been a year and some change.
Dirty Red didn’t come equipped with satellite radio. But my former boss gave me a like-new XM radio with accessories…all I had to do was have it installed. That was back in 2009.
You’re judging me! I can feel it in my achin’ bones!
I have a theory. Each radio station only keeps 20-24 songs in rotation. 10-12 are for the daycrawlers. And the other 10-12 are for the night crowd. The average song is, what, 3 minutes long? The rest of their airtime is taken up by commercials. Cha-ching!
…which is why I keep a small supply of CD’s in the car at all times.
Yesterday, I played a friendly game of Russian Roulette with FM Radio.
Pulled out the revolver. Kissed the silver bullet and then placed it in the chamber.
After this one guy got through claiming he could beat up some cooch, the commercials started.
Placed the barrel at my right temple, cocked the hammer back, curled my finger around the trigger.
I turned to the other station.
Click!
There was a song playing. It was fairly new but it wasn’t my first time hearing it.
Click!
The beat, the melody, the country twang…it’s been done to DEFF…dug up…and done again. That’s usually enough to prompt me to change the station. But the other station was playing commercials. So, I had to let it ride.
Click!
That’s when it happened. The guy said…
“I need a smart girrrl…wid a dumb booty! I need a smart girrrl…wid a dumb booty! I need a smart girrrl…wid a dumb booty! I need a smart girrrl…wid a dumb booty!”
Two minutes in, the dj stopped the song…and started it from the beginning again. I pulled up to a red light. The car next to me was rocking. I looked over and saw two girls dancing and singing along with the radio.
BOOM!
Time of Death: 7:12 p.m.
Dear Hip Hop…I miss you! When are you coming back, love?!
About the title…don’t ask. I was just having a Color Purple moment. :)
Excuse me while I get my chair-dance on!
I’m in a fairly good mood today. And I wanted something funky. Thank you, Bilal & Dr. Dre!
My class reunion is right around the corn-terrr. I hope everything turns out okay. I hope “everybody” shows up. I hope we can behave as adults. I’mma be mad if I drive through cotton fields for 7 hours just to sit out in the hot Mississippi sun, marinatin’ in some high school bullshit. That is NOT the business.
You took care of my heart…ever so gently. I can never repay you, nooo. Your desires, I’m here to fulfill, yeah.
I was chatting with one of my classmates the other day and got a reality check. Less than 1 month away…and she still hasn’t made up her mind. She’s worried about what people will say about her weight.
Deep…dramatic…pronounced…sigh.
“Seriously?”
Who are these people she’s so concerned about? Well, one of ’ems an ex.
My eyes bucked.
“Wait, which John Doe? The light-skinned one? …with the abnormally large head?” Isn’t he married? “Wasn’t he mildly retarded?” I typed.
“The one that used to hang out with Choc-o…”
“Yeah, that’s the same one I’m talking about. And I know Choc-o is developmentally-challenged; so…I’m just sayin’.”
“He’s married.”
“That’s what I was about to ask!”
“…wifey made up like Sponge Bob!”
“I’m confused. Why do ‘we’ care about what this dude has to say?”
“I’m a lot bigger than I was…” Blah, blah, blah.
She made a few attempts to justify her hesitation. Or maybe she just needed to say the words. I dunno. I hope I wasn’t too harsh. I’ve been told (on more than one occasion) that my language can be…harsh. I really was trying to give her the “Atta girl!” I thought she needed. I’m sure she’s not the only one who feels that way…
Ooh, shiny!
Fat was in town this weekend! I was so happy to see mi familia! He didn’t think there would be enough time for a quick visit…but by the time they made it back to the hotel (after hanging out with the in-laws), I had checked into a room right across the hall from them! Ha!
I’ve been on my own since I graduated high school 20 years ago. I have a car. I have my own place. I have a steady job. And yet…every time I visit with one of my uncles or older cousins, I feel like a kid again. *giggles* In a good way.
I heard a familiar knock at my door on Sunday morning. Mama used to say it was the Mason’s knock. He was pleasantly surprised to find me wide awake. It was a little after 8 o’clock. He sat on my bed and just looked at me…the way a parent looks at his child, like he’s seeing her for the first time…again. Something about that moment comforted me. I finally felt loved. His smile said everything I needed to hear.
After a few minutes of chit-chat, he stood up and hugged me (for the 3rd or 4th time, lol). And then…just like he used to do when I was a kid and he was home for a visit…he grabbed my hand and slipped me some cash.
“That’s a little somethin’ just for you!”
“Unc, I’m good!” His kind gesture was my 2nd drink from the Fountain of Youth. ”You know I have a job, right?”
He laughed and gave me that look again. ”I know, baby. Just let Uncle pay for your room, ok? It made me so happy to see you!”
I swallowed the small lump in my throat. I just knew he was gonna say something about his baby sister. Maybe he heard my heart stop beating as I braced for the moment when he would acknowledge that he, too, felt my mother’s spirit in the room. But thankfully, he didn’t. He walked down the hall with his luggage.
That’s when I noticed what I was holding in my hand – a crisp 50-dollar bill.
I’m still smiling.
Remember sundresses? 80′s babies (girls) know what I’m talking about? The little halter-top dress with strings that tied around the neck, and a long skirt…”picnic cloth” material?
I was driving home from the hotel when I saw this guy crossing the street. He was kinda hard to miss for a couple of reasons. One…because I almost hit his ass when he decided to cross the street that I was turning on to. And two…because…well…
He was shiny, dark-skinned with a Mr. T mohawk. Beefy, very muscular. Maybe 5 feet, 8 or 9 inches tall. Black combat/motorcycle boots. And a tan-and-white sundress.
The neighbors are at it again. I thought (hoped) this morning’s 9 a.m. session would hold them for a full day; but here we are again…at 2:15 a.m…screamin’ and moanin’ and carryin’ on. By my guesstimation, I’ve got another 15 minutes to kill. So, I might as well talk about the movie…
I watched “Battleship” this past weekend. Don’t ask me how. Don’t judge me, man!
Everybody kept talking about Rhianna’s performance as though it was Oscar-worthy or somethin’. Well, let me put the rumors to rest: She was o.k. Maybe if she had had more…words or lines?…to say. Maybe if she had had more…of a story?…meat to her role. I dunno. I found myself secretly wishing she’d morph into Michelle Rodriguez. I didn’t buy into the badass-Navy-fighter-chick thing for her. She wasn’t awful. Just didn’t blow my skirt up.
A tale of two brothers. No, not Good vs. Evil. The taller, good-looking brother was a clean-cut, responsible, selfless Naval officer.
Did they move to the other side of the bedroom? You go, boy!
The shorter, dark-haired, good-looking brother was un-focused, irresponsible, and had no respect for rules…but he wasn’t a bad guy.
Planet G was discovered in some distant galaxy and was believed to have an atmosphere very similar to that of the Earth’s. So, what did they do? They built satellites and sent a signal to Planet G. *Brow* Guess what happened next? THE ALIENS CAME!
Both brothers were in the Navy, at this point; and they just happened to be out on the Pacific when the aliens came (and landed in the Pacific, mostly). One of the alien ships crash-landed and destroyed a buncha shit in Asia. **If you’ve ever seen the following movies, you’ve already seen parts of this movie: ”Signs,” “Independence Day,” “Avatar,” and “War of the Worlds”.**
This is, most definitely, a “guy movie”. There were all kinds of explosions and fight scenes and lotsa shooting. In the end, “we” won. Do the aliens ever win? Hmm…I wonder what that would look like.
Here’s where they scored MAJOR cool points!
The main action of the movie was set off the coast of Hawaii. They paid homage to wounded war vets…and who comes to the rescue when all hope seems lost? The USS Missouri! Yes, the museum! Ha! It even came equipped with a few retired military men!
Overall, I give “Battleship” one thumb up. It wasn’t a bad movie; but I doubt that I’ll watch it again. Once was enough.
Before I slipped into an Ambien-induced coma (Friday night), I went to Fandango and purchased two tickets to Sunday’s 2:30 showing of “Marvel’s The Avengers” at Regal 24. Trekbaby and I met at the theatre just before 1:45 and chit-chatted until the line started to form outside Theatre 7′s door.
We filed in and claimed our seats…leaving an “empty” between us to hold her purse and scarf and throw and popcorn and whatever else she had with her. The theatre filled up pretty quickly (just as we suspected it would).
A man in a wheelchair sat at the end of our row. His companion…a tall, bald, scary-looking guy…sat directly next to me. His voice boomed when he attempted to converse with his friend in a hushed tone. I imagined they were former bikers…one had been involved in a terrible accident, leaving him without the use of his legs.
Several Regal employees rushed inside the theatre. One guy in a suit went down to the front and made an announcement.
“MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE? YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE? THIS THEATRE IS SOLD OUT! THERE’S A BIRTHDAY PARTY COMING IN! ONCE WE HAVE THEM SEATED IN THESE TWO ROWS THAT WE’VE BLOCKED OFF UP THERE, WE WILL LET THE REST OF THE MOVIE-GOERS IN TO FILL UP THE THEATRE! THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE!”
As if on cue, a long line of children came in and quickly filled up the first of the two rows. Sweet Jesus…no! I watched, in horror, as they noisily filed in directly behind us. Excited. Very talkative. High on sugar. I had noticed the “Caution” tape blocking off the two rows behind us; but it was “Caution” tape! I didn’t know it was “Insert-party-here” tape! As soon as the children – no more than 7 or 8 years old – were seated and given popcorn and a drink, a flood of movie-goers filled up the rest of the theatre…trapping us in our seats.
The movie was predictable. I’ve seen this storyline a thousand times before: Crazy (alien-)man with low self-esteem and childhood issues desperately seeks attention and is willing to do anything to get it; so, the good guys (which includes crazy (alien-)man’s very handsome brother) come in and save the day…err, world.
This movie was AWESOME! It was funny and action-packed; and it left me wanting to see more!
Iron Man – Let the record show that I absolutely LOVE Robert Downey Jr. as Tony “Iron Man” Starks! He lends just the right amount of sarcastic humor to the character. It was nice to see him be more of a team player, though. I think Loki (aka “Crazy (alien-)man”) was a bit of a mirror, a reflection of Iron Man’s arrogance.
Captain America – I’m ashamed to admit that I have not yet seen “Captain America” (the movie). But I love that he’s old-school. It was a welcomed break from all of the technology and nerdspeak. In a way, Captain America made sure my every “Say what, nah?” was asked and answered. What a clever way to insert explanations, break everything down, make sure everyone understands what’s going on in a movie! *pats the writers on their backs* Did I forget to mention that Captain America is a HOTTIE?!
Thor – Another…movie…that I…haven’t…seen. *adds to Amazon cart* Dear Thor: You are the sexiest demi-god I’ve ever seen! *swoons* He has a really big…hammer. Flowing blonde hair that blows in the breeze. Big, stocky build. Protective of humans. What’s not to love?
Black Widow – {Sidebar: Wow! Scarlett is HOT!} Now. Without getting into the specifics, her first scene is HILARIOUS! It’s a great introduction to who she is and what she’s capable of.
Hulk – Mark Ruffalo was a most excellent choice for this role! I hate to typecast actors; but he’s usually a little awkward, adorable, and funny = Dr. Bruce Banner. He goes from having absolutely NO control over The Hulk in one scene…to turning into The Hulk AND being of sound mind in the next. Transition feels a little rushed, but that’s okay. By this time, I’m ALL IN and just wanting him to “SMASH!” lol
Hawkeye – I like this character…even though he’s a very bad boy for half of the movie. I kept thinking he reminded me of Legolas (TLOTR). So, when Tony Starks called him that, I hollered! Is there a “Hawkeye: The Movie” I should know about? I’d really like to see more of him!
Fury – Eh.
Loki – Thor’s brother…from another mother? …’cause they don’t look anything alike! Wait, I think both of them have beautiful blue eyes. Loki is goth. And he, obviously, has low self-esteem. He made reference to growing up in Thor’s shadow. So, he devised this brilliant idea to rule over Earth. *blink, blink* Loki is the typical villain with his arrogance, selfishness, and long-winded monologues (all about how humans aren’t truly happy because they carry the burden of freedom; so, he was going to do them the favor of ruling over them). During his last monologue, Hulk grabbed him and beat the hell outta him! It was so funny…very Bugs Bunny’esque…like that scene from “Acrobatty Bunny” where the elephant uses the lion to hit the toy mouse! LOL!
I’d happily go back to see “Marvel’s The Avengers” again! Between the constant, LOUD talking by the children; biker dude mumbling to himself and shushing the children over my head; and Trekbaby’s “I thank you to not kick my seat!”…I’m sure there are a few things I missed. I give this movie TWO THUMBS UP!
Y’all know that me and Sandman ain’t neva been friends. Last week was no different. After two nights of no sleep, I decided to take a whole Ambien tablet on Friday night.
Saturday…I woke up and looked at the time. It was 6:23 a.m. Hell no! I’m going back to sleep!
I woke up “a few minutes later”…looked at the time and it was 1:36 p.m. Really? But I’m still sleepy! And I gotta pee!
I got up, walked into the en suite bathroom, and took my seat on the throne. My eyes were tired and I couldn’t stop yawning. I finished my business and got back in bed…wiggling about until I found my warm spot.
I woke up “a few minutes later”…looked at the time and it was 7:05 p.m. Say what, nah?
I was WIDE awake and feeling well-rested. Finally! I got up, walked into the en suite bathroom, and took my seat on the throne. I laughed out loud when I realized I was staring at the shower curtain and tapping the sides of the bowl to accompany the never-ending trickle.
Wait. Something’s not right.
I noticed a pile of clothes – a shirt and a pair of undies – at my feet. Where did these clothes come from? Kinda looks like the shirt that I wore to bed… A nipple suddenly appeared in the bottom left corner of my vision field. I lifted my hands to my chest and cupped my breasts…and then, I realized I was naked. Butt-ass naked.
I grabbed the shirt and lifted it to eye-level. It was wet all the way down the front. I smelled it, hoping it wasn’t stained with urine. Didn’t smell like urine. When I walked back into the bedroom, the first thing I noticed was the papers (that used to sit on top of the nightstand) on the floor. I sat on the side of the bed and fished my brain for the previous night’s events. How the hell did I get naked?! But I got nothin’. I vaguely remembered bumping into the nightstand but that was it.
A giant, circular wet spot stained the pillow…soaked all the way through the covers and to the mattress. Didn’t smell like urine. What the hell is this?! An empty cup rested on top of my closed laptop at the foot of the bed. That’s when I remembered eating a Cup o’ Noodles…I think I remember that. But, um, still no news on the whereabouts of the fork.
*reading my Facebook timeline*
“Having one of my moments, missing my mom. Just want to talk to her. Things I just don’t understand about life and I am sure she has answers to all of my questions. Losing a mother so young, it really tears me up on the inside. Prom, Graduation(s), getting married, having a baby, & so on. I missed having you there. I caught myself, every time, in the corner crying, wanting you here. Next Sunday is Mother’s Day and it’s even harder. I love & miss you, Momma.”
*takes a long, pronounced sip of Pepsi*
For a while now, I’ve been waiting for Lil Sis to call…wanting to talk about her. Mother’s Day is just around the corner. It’s inevitable. She was only 16. I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like for her…losing her mother at such a young age. But she turned out okay. Better than okay! I pray that I can be of some use…of some comfort to her when/if she calls. So, I wasn’t surprised to see her post on Facebook yesterday.
I didn’t even think about what I wanted to say…just let my fingers do the walking.
“I knew this was coming… I miss her and mourn her passing every day of my life. But the lessons that she taught me still live on. We were blessed to have such a beautiful, selfless, tell-it-like-it-is, strong woman in our lives. And I know she is watching over you and very proud of the woman you’ve become. I’m always here whenever you need me. I may not answer the phone if I don’t feel like talking, but don’t let that stop you from calling. :) Love ya, pooh-butt!”
Sunday…I went to see “Marvel’s The Avengers” today. GREAT MOVIE! I’ll have to tell you about that in a separate post!
When I got home, I remembered that “Church Girl” was debuting on BET today. I was able to catch the last hour or so. Gotta show love for the fam. It’s a surreal feeling to see my cousin on BET! Ha! Ain’t that somethin’?
Fresh off the road from my mini-vacay. OVERALL, I enjoyed it. I absolutely LOVE being near the water. It’s usually so very relaxing. But there’s never enough time. In a perfect world, I’d have a house on the beach where I can escape to whenever the world gets to be…too much. In reality, that shit will have to wait ’til next year.
For a moment, I actually thought I was gonna come back refreshed, renewed…happy. I guess a change of scenery is not what I need. I carry him with me where ever I go. Stuck on stupid.
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So…my seven(ty) year old niece is writing now. She couldn’t spell “accident” so she tried to sound it out…
Our crew arrived safely at our destination. Operation: PCB is in full swing. Very little daylight remained; but I took a picture to capture the moment (not my best photography but will do in a pinch)…
Our living quarters are breathtaking…a view from the 22nd floor. God is, indeed, good!
Tomorrow, I’m sure we will venture out and take advantage of the FREE weekend passes we received. Seabreeze Jazz Festival, 2012. Yes, yes, y’all!
